So the number 4 creeps into my life once again with it's tail between it's legs. During the time of Trey's short life, the number 4 resonated, from his time of birth to his time of passing. Everything was connected to the number 4. My lucky number has always been 5 but 4 trumped it in the depths of our grief.This year, Trey would have been 4 and this year he had hi 4th Angelversary. At this point we are a family of 4, John and I and our 2 children. Months ago I decided that I wanted to try for another ba... read more »
Gale is one of the followers of this blog and a LIKE on Facebook. She makes balloons for special Angel Birthdays and Angel Dates ans releases them to the Heavens for our Angels to catch. Please read her moving blog entry about making Trey's balloon today.http://fittsiesangelbabybirthdayballoons.blogspot.com/2013/04/today-with-trey.html?showComment=1365109501490#c4206843706451535879 read more »
I was awoken this morning, Trey's 4th Birthday, by an alert on my phone. The sound of the thunder and rain had me believing that I would be looking at some sort of weather warning. As it turns out, it was an Amber Alert, meaning a child is missing.I tried to go back to sleep but thesignificanceof the day ping ponged through my mind. It seems like 4 years ago all of these memories were a blur. When these specialanniversariescome around there is a constant movie, a play by play of sorts, that provides the ... read more »
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. (Author, David Burns, Intimate Connections) Continue reading read more »
Like all of us, I did not ask to be here,I live here.I didn't choose to transfer here, I was chosen,I live here.I didn't move here, I was stationed here,I live here.My large house of a life feels like an efficiency,I live here.I don't like my residence but I can't leave,I live here.Everything on the outside of my abode is gorgeous,I live here.I amrenovating constantly,I live here.The chores never end,I live here.When the property value in my home goes down,I live here.The decor may change but theambiance... read more »
I don't normally listen to Phil Collins but tonight it was on the Ipod that I was listening to while bathing Lorelei. I always try to listen something I love but I also love to gravitate toward other artists I see on the playlists. I've always loved Phil Collins, I grew up listening to his music. Per usual, I connected with a song, not one but two. Of course they are about romantic love but my mind as an Angel Mommy translated them TOTALLY differently. One more night, one more nightI've been trying, oh s... read more »
Music has always been a part of my life. I was born into a musical spirited family with harmony and my Aunt Melody (true story). Music continues to be therapy, solace, an outlet, a discovery, a calming, an instigator, and a journey. I have always felt meaning in so many tunes, mainly my favorites. I don't like music with trite lyrics and overused metaphors. I love music that reaches me, teaches me, connects with me and makes me think.Lately I have been discovering that new songs that I once loved are bei... read more »
There are times when anyone who mourns gets "in it", as described in a movie, I can't quite remember which, being " in it" refers to being in the state of being in an intense state of thought, reflection, introspection, and/or contemplation over one or more subject matters. Usually these "in it" moments are matters of the heart and require such time.When I get "in it", especially when it's warm, I like to sit or lie in the thick grass in my yard. I love the feeling, both physical and spiritual. As I lie ... read more »
We all deal with death different ways, hell, we all deal with life different ways, yet some prefer to deal with life's dealings without sobriety. I am a lover of the spirits and on a sober night I had the time to think clearly, to reflect, to really feel what my life is like now and what it was back then until now.We all choose our insobriety with life, be it anger, alcohol, drugs, spending, denial,promiscuity, avoiding, self depreciating, sleeping around, whatever. And for the moment(s), these things so... read more »
Since I began this journey of child loss grief, I have painfully heard of too many parents and friends who have lost children of all ages. My first encounter was soon after losing Trey, my Room Mom my first year teaching opened up to me about her stillborn child. When I returned to work, I found several teachers that had miscarried. Two years ago, I had a Student Teacher who had lost her first child to stillbirth. Last year, a teacher started at our school who had recently lost her con to Cancer, he was ... read more »
