When Trey was transferred to Egleston Children's Hospital, the hospital gave us a room to stay in so we could be near our son. We didn't have any toiletries to get ourselves freshen up with so we had to call on family and friends to bring us items to clean up with.For this year's service project, I asked loved ones to collectUNOPENED toiletries to donate to the hospital so that parents can have less to worry about and will be able to freshen up and take care of themselves in a difficult situation such as... read more »
I was awoken this morning, Trey's 4th Birthday, by an alert on my phone. The sound of the thunder and rain had me believing that I would be looking at some sort of weather warning. As it turns out, it was an Amber Alert, meaning a child is missing.I tried to go back to sleep but thesignificanceof the day ping ponged through my mind. It seems like 4 years ago all of these memories were a blur. When these specialanniversariescome around there is a constant movie, a play by play of sorts, that provides the ... read more »
John and I still bathe with our daughter, John usually has her in the shower and I in the bath. The past two days she has had a fever so I had to stay home with her today, my husband can't pick her up due to spinal surgery almost a month ago. We have lived in our home for 4 1/2 years and I know the ins and outs of our home so it surprised when the cold drip that comes from the nozzles of the shower affected me. Per usual, I was singing along with the IPod hoping my daughter would inherit the same love on... read more »
12 days from now is Trey's 4th Birthday, 13 days after that is his Angel Day.25 days seems like a long time compared to the short time we had with our son. It seems like a lifetime to me, a time I wish would pass quickly and peacefully. Usually the time passes much easier than this and I often expect for each year to get better. This has been a shitty year for me to say the least. The hammer has dropped at work, Lorelei is a savant in the terrible 2's (which is not a problem for me but it tries my husban... read more »
"Actions speak louder than words."We have all heard it before and usually post it in our brains. But when the situation arises, we hold up on our high horse with the statement.I myself have very much had my fill of words simply being air in the midst of robust actions. Sometimes people don't know what they are saying and that's forgivable, they mean no harm. But, there is that adage that says:"People won't remember what you did. People won't remember what you said. But people will always remember the way... read more »
I have always been a numbers person. Some time ago I wrote a post about the number connections surrounding our journey. Before we lost Trey, my favorite number was five, although I always eat candies in 2's. The volume of ANY electrical device HAS to be a multiple of 5. Tips at restaurants are given based on multiples of 5. I have always wanted three children, a family of five. At the time of my pregnancy, we had 4 animal children and were expecting or human child, 5 kids in all. The warmth and connectio... read more »
So many people have asked why I am not in therapy or a member of a support group. Their concerns are warranted but don't apply to my grief. I am honored by their concern but each person's grief belongs to them and it's up to the individual how they deal with it.In all honesty, my therapy is here, Angel Steps. I blog honestly and people connect with what I write. Through my blog I am able to release my inner most musings, no holds barred, and in rough times I have an outlet to express the darkest of feeli... read more »
I speak to my son almost daily and he answers me.After losing Trey, I eventually envisioned him holding the hand of a small child.Every time I do envision him in Heaven he is the same age as he would be on Earth.I believe when he got to Heaven God told him to take his time and find the soul of his sibling.I know in my heart that he greets every Angel Child that enters Heaven.I know that there is a bond between us now that I feel guilty about not having while he was here.He served his purpose so that I co... read more »
I don't normally listen to Phil Collins but tonight it was on the Ipod that I was listening to while bathing Lorelei. I always try to listen something I love but I also love to gravitate toward other artists I see on the playlists. I've always loved Phil Collins, I grew up listening to his music. Per usual, I connected with a song, not one but two. Of course they are about romantic love but my mind as an Angel Mommy translated them TOTALLY differently. One more night, one more nightI've been trying, oh s... read more »
Music has always been a part of my life. I was born into a musical spirited family with harmony and my Aunt Melody (true story). Music continues to be therapy, solace, an outlet, a discovery, a calming, an instigator, and a journey. I have always felt meaning in so many tunes, mainly my favorites. I don't like music with trite lyrics and overused metaphors. I love music that reaches me, teaches me, connects with me and makes me think.Lately I have been discovering that new songs that I once loved are bei... read more »
